Firm, Patient, Generous and Fierce

I am sitting and reflecting on what mothers mean to me. The first thing that pops into my mind is that a mother is love. What mothers endure and experience in the pregnancy stage, then caring for a child, is something that is layered and formed by a bond that nothing else can take its place. Mothers are the life source and nurturers in their children's lives. In many cases, they are recipients of a sixth sense, where they seem to grow extra eyes, a nose better than a dog, and a discernment that trembles the darkness when it comes against their baby! 

One of the most important things that I have learned through observation is that a mother's love is fluid and able to adjust as needed. What I mean by this is that I have seen my mom operate in these areas of love: being firm, patient, generous, and at times, fierce. My mother, Brenda Arment, has been the example for me of love's fluidity and adjustability.

                                                     1. Firm Love

Growing up around a strong-willed woman is not for the faint of heart! My mom was determined to instill in all her kids at a very young age to show respect and to honor others, and to help those we see in need. We were to stay humble (something I took too literally, and had to have someone get in my face once, telling me that it’s okay to receive a compliment), and we were not to disrespect our last name. I did occasionally step out of line, and when she would catch wind of it, Mom was quick to handle the situation, shaking her finger and giving me ‘the look’ - which I believe she instructed the military drill instructors how to do – to which you automatically snapped to attention whenever you got it! This type of love is what set up boundaries and guard rails for me, and looking back, were so important to what she was instilling in me. It taught me the difference between right and wrong, and it was all out of love because she was looking out for my best interest, and setting important values and morals within me.

                                                     2. Patient Love

A few things come to mind when I think about my mom’s display of being patient: she knew that us kids were going to make mistakes and she was always there to give a hug or offer advice when we needed it; many times we were the recipient of her opinion (remember she’s a strong-willed woman). When I joined the Navy in 2004, I didn’t tell anybody I was doing it until after I had signed the documents. My mother would not talk to me for a month afterward because she was handling the news in her own way. I learned how she coped with things that were out of her control, and she showed me that it’s okay to take time away to deal with things quietly. She cared deeply for my safety, and the unknown that I would be entering unsettled her greatly; but she loved me enough to let me make those big life decisions. She came beside me to be my number one fan and supporter during that time. I now have so many Navy artifacts, books, pictures, picture frames, etc. because she wanted to show me how much she was proud of me and loved me.

                                                     3. Generous Love

While I was growing up, my mom became a favorite for her support in all our activities and sports, but also in her cooking on the weekends! I would have friends come out just for the food! Mom and Dad would welcome all of them, cooking enough food so that nobody left hungry...and if you did, it was your own fault. 

Even now, as I am an adult, she has extended to me so much love and generosity. When I came home from the Navy I was a wrecking ball, destroying everything in my path (mostly internally) and my mom didn’t know what to do, except just love me and be there for me. It was all I really needed at the time, and without her knowing it, she helped pull me out of my self-destructive behaviors. 

Fast forwarding to the future, nothing has changed in the area of my mom's love and generosity. Being a missionary now and needing to come back from Belize due to illness, she took care of me, feeding me and nursing me back to health! She allowed me to drive her vehicle to and from doctors' appointments, and got me clothes when I didn’t have any. She has been a huge cheerleader and encourager for Normal to Destiny LLC, and has recently become a sales consultant because she believes in the mission of my business!

Not long ago I learned that when we were younger, my parents would sometimes go without food so that we would be able to eat when we wouldn’t have enough to go around. We qualified for government help, but they refused to take it, instead working two jobs most of the time to provide for our needs. I just thought we were the richest family on the block!

I have always been a watcher and observer. I watched mom volunteer me for all sorts of things: helping people move, cutting grass, volunteering for the needy, picking weeds...and the list goes on! What these things taught me was to always be generous with what we are given and to meet a need of someone whenever you are able.These traits, which were instilled into me when I was young, have become the backbone of the business I am running today - Impact the world by impacting the one.

                                                    4. Fierce Love

I have always been a daydreamer, staring out of windows and getting lost in my own imagination - deep thinking about so many things and drawing up even more questions. This hasn’t always been to my advantage.  While growing up, I have had a couple teachers who didn’t quite understand me because I was different than the rest of the kids. I had teachers label me as ‘dumb,’ ‘never going to make it,’ ‘slow,’ and ‘a dreamer.’ It wasn’t that my grades were bad, because they weren’t. It was because I just have always thought differently and outside of the norm. This is where I have seen my mom’s fierce love for me in action. When these teachers would make these comments about me, I saw my mom fight for me and keep encouraging me to be different because it would benefit me one day. 

My mother was prophesying over me without even knowing she was doing it. She called me ‘the rock,’ and said that ‘I would make something of my life”.  She also told the world "to keep an eye on me because even though I was in a shadow of my older brother and quiet, I had a lot to say”. What I have done and what I continue to do with my life is a fulfillment of those words.  My mom has been an illustration of God’s love for us, which is so fierce that no darkness can prevail or touch it. She has been an example of the love that Jesus has for me, and I can only receive it and say ‘thank you’.

My family likes to joke a lot about my being open with the fact that I’m a “momma’s boy.” For me, this was wisdom and my best weapon growing up; get close with mom and I have it made! Truth is, I simply love her unconditionally. I know that a strong relationship with her has always been important to me, because she was the one who gave birth to me, and there’s just a bond there that is God-given. 

Firm, patient, generous and fierce. Each of these qualities is reflected in the love I receive and the love I give. Thank you Mom for showing me a strong work ethic, instilling deep morals, values and respect, and how to honor others powerfully. Thank you for the tireless days/nights growing up so that we were well taken care of. Thank you for always being there for me, and being a constant in my life. I love you!

~Travis

Guest Blog Writer: Travis Arment