The Love in Daddy’s Hands……

Guest Writer:  Travis Arment

When Father’s Day comes around, the first song that I’m taken back to is the song, "Daddy’s Hands" by Holly Dunn*. It tells the story of the reasons and purposes for what dads do to teach and mold us into the people we will become. In a world where there are more broken homes and fatherless children than ever in history, it greatly impacts me when I see fathers being active in their children's and family’s life. So Dad, this is for you...a personal letter to you, from me.

There isn’t a single person in my life that I have spent more time studying and watching than you. Some of my earliest memories include: mowing the grass while tornado sirens were going off, teaching me to throw and bat right-handed because you couldn’t understand how I could be left-handed, catching a fish with no bait-just a hook, teaching me how to build a fence on the farm and the hard work it entailed, teaching me how to garden and can food, working two jobs so that we had enough to eat, spending hours filming all of our sporting and life events without complaining, talking and teaching me how to get through a break up when it felt like my world had exploded, watching you fight for a marriage and our family ... the list could go on of the lessons, morals and values you modeled for me. 

Among all these great stories and memories, the one that is most familiar to me is when I got out of the Navy and moved home while trying to mend my life. It was a single event that will forever be in my memory. I was painting the garage with you and I finally broke down and had to fight through the tears to form words. My question to you was “are you ashamed of me?” I was at a low point in my life. I couldn’t find employment, even though I had all the credentials, awards and merit. I was in a state of rejection, but it was your words that broke my mindset and really planted a seed within my heart that I will never forget. You said, “How can you say that? Mom and I couldn’t be more proud of the man you are and what you will be. I don’t know what you are going through or what you are thinking, but just know that I love you and I am here for you, even if it’s just to listen.” They were really just simple words, but they had a profound effect on who I am today. It also sums you up, as a simple man.

 

Your model of fatherhood has set the bar for all who know you. You have been part of my biggest life moments including: not missing a single sporting, school, or life event, sailing with me on the USS Ronald Reagan for a week in the Pacific as we returned from deployment, and witnessing my public baptism at Palo Lake. I don’t need to read a book on being a father when I have you to go to for advice. It is the core values you have instilled into me of integrity, character, professionalism, and excellence that have become the foundations of not only

my life, but of my business, Normal to Destiny. 

Thank you for being such a great mentor and father. It still cracks me up that you wear the same belt that tanned my hide when I was young to this day! Thank you for the sacrifices, long nights, talks, wisdom and advice, and for mirroring the Father’s heart to all of us. 

Normal to Destiny honors you this Father’s Day! 

*Holly Dunn. Daddy's Hands. Tommy West, 1986. MP3.

Seed and the Art of the Holy No!

Guest Blog Writer:  Zona Garrett

Some might say I am rough around the edges and I very well may be. I am also someone who has quite the sensitive soul. I love to help, whether that be cooking, serving, giving, sharing time or stories. Because of my giving nature, one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a Christian is about keeping the seed the Lord gives you for your seed, and understanding what He has for the visible need in front of you. I call this the art of the Holy NO! 

There are systems built to rob you, Dear One, of the very seed He has planned for you! We can even rob ourselves and our loved ones of potential blessings, by not understanding what to do with the seed we have been given. There were times when I would throw my personal seed at someone's specific need, only to find that the Lord intended to fulfill that need in a different manner. The reality is that these amazing, wonderful people whom I was giving my seed to, where hindered from the ability to rely on the Lord for themselves, and had to go around the proverbial mountain one-to-many times, partly on my account. My heart was wrenched at the idea that I might be prolonging those I am trying to help, in the very area I was trying to rescue them from! I was setting myself in the position of provider in their lives, and there is only one is worthy of that title - Jehovah Jireh! I had to come face to face with my own understanding of the goodness of God and His faithfulness to provide just as abundantly for them, in His timing. 

In wrestling with learning how to steward my seed, the Lord whispered this question in my ear, “What if the seed you’re giving is removing the lesson I am teaching them?” That's when I had the gut wrenching realization; I was giving my seed away out of a fear that the Lord wouldn’t provide for them in their situation. My faith was built on the foundation of promises He wrote on my heart and what He has intimately called me to, but they have their own sweet and irrevocable promises. I was robbing the Lord of an opportunity to work powerfully in their situation, dealing directly with their hearts. But the Lord gives favor and grace to all His beloved, and that is His personal expression to each of us, dear heart! The Lord has been gracious to me as I’ve learned this lesson, failing again and again. He still allows me to invest in people; He still pours an abundance of love and willingness to help people into this heart of mine. 

What I didn’t know is that my understanding was too finite, too small. My mindset about my Heavenly Father was wrong, and therefore my expectations of Him were wrong. He was so faithful with my heart and mind to expand my understanding and open the box further and further. Through His gentle whispers, He showed me how magnificent His plans were for those I wanted to help. And slowly, as I opened my heart to trust in the Lord, He would show me that He loved them more deeply than I ever could. I was able to witness His beautiful plans for their lives unfolding in expectant hope before each one. I witnessed the pain of the Lord, as sometimes they chose to go around the mountain again, and I understood more fully His desire for me to eat the seed He prepared for my bread. There were times I chose to go around the mountain again. There were times I couldn’t agree; yet He was gracious and compassionate to me. Time and again, He gave me new seed to sow into new territory and new people, and I was able to release those dearly loved ones in my life into their fullness in Him. This was when the very gentle and pressing Word of the Lord spoke to my ever-softening heart these verses:

1 Corinthians 9:6-11 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

The highlight for me was on verse 10, because I was faithful to freely give, and the Lord saw my heart! I truly believe He keeps record of anytime we exercise faith in all its naïve glory. Often times I ended the day with nothing left, and I was robing my harvest of righteousness to be able to impact families, communities and whole countries. I would ask the Lord how so much could flow though me and I still be so exhausted. I longed to be a world changer! And my generous little heart needed the difficult teaching of saying no when the seed wasn’t mine to give. I began trusting in He who is Faithful at new levels to supply all of their needs in His Glorious riches, and truly trusting that I heard from the Lord where to give and where to sow, and where to take my bread. He would provide the increase and fulfill the promises whispered to my heart. I have not hidden a hope in my heart that He wasn’t faithful to plant in me.

He further blessed me by delving into the riches of Ephesians Chapter 1:8-14, (8-9):

He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure.

The beauty of the plan to sow and set aside for bread is the gem of knowledge that He has promised us the wisdom and understanding to be faithful with each seed, to the extent that He promised to reveal His mysterious plan. Dear Heart, He has the plan and He is gifting you with seed to eat and seed to sow for the richness of His Glory. You mean that much to Him. Your seed was not an afterthought; it wasn’t mean for someone else, but you. I cannot express to you the questions I asked of my King as I understood more fully His mysteries I can find only in Him.

(Verses 10-14) And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.

God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own[d] by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.

God is faithful to teach this heart to hope and long for the promises He’s guaranteed to me, and you! I am growing in wisdom and understanding in the mysteries of Him as to know where to plant, and where to set my seed aside as bread for today. And I pray the same wisdom and understanding over you.

Back to School

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."  - Steve Jobs

I have seen first-hand, the benefits of having a higher education. It is in the way people treat you, respond to you, and are willing to help you - because you somehow have this extra wisdom from enduring four extra years of schooling. I witnessed this in the military when my chain of command found out I held a Bachelor’s Degree. I was immediately placed in a position of authority and leadership. I also remember during my time serving in a squadron, when my higher chain of command found out I held my degree, yet had enlisted. I was brought into the Chief’s Mess for a meeting, and it was a moment I'll never forget. When I walked into the room to report, it was standing room only; the room was full of every Chief and Officer within the command. During a meeting like this, it is usually just you and your superior officer, but it seemed this time that all the ranking officers wanted to hear my story! I was so nervous, to the point where my bottom lip was quivering uncontrollably! It was in this moment though, that I realized the power of higher education.

Since returning to civilian life outside of the military, I have had options regarding education at my disposal because of the G.I.Bill. For the past 6 years, however, I would often say I would never return to school, mostly due to fear of not thinking I was smart enough and it wouldn’t be worth the time. I didn’t want to endure the pain of more schooling, and the thought of giving years of my life to studying and writing papers seemed like a waste. So I used these as easy excuses not to pursue more education. I know what I am passionate about and know what direction I want to spend my life doing, but at the time, none of it seemed to include hanging another degree on my wall.

It wasn’t until I taught English as a second language (to three Spanish-speaking adult women) in Belize that my eyes were opened and heart softened to the value of education. Not only was I having fun, but I was learning and growing right along with them! But more importantly, I began to see that to most of the world outside of the United States, the value of education can mean the difference between life and death; it can mean the difference between extreme poverty and providing for your family. I remember looking into my own life and reexamining what I valued, or at least put value on. As an “American”, I took education for granted. It is part of our culture and something my parents encouraged me to pursue, so I did. But what we need to realize, is that we can gain a wealth of knowledge just to have knowledge, or we can gain wisdom and understanding to that we can fulfill our purpose, passions, and destiny to change the world. I have heard the saying that the richest place in the world is the cemetery, because it is where all the dreams, inventions, hopes, gifts and promises go to die, never reaching their full potential. I don't want to leave anything on the table when my tombstone is put in place.

So when I realized I was letting fear hold me back from reaching my full potential, I had a decision to make.  I could either do what I felt God was leading me into, or I could continue to choose the easy way out and still question what is next in my life. I began to explore my options of graduate school and the use of my G.I. Bill. I learned I had more benefits than I had initially thought. Doors began to open with favor on my side. On May 28^th, I got my acceptance letter into Mount Mercy University’s Masters of Strategic Leadership! One of my dreams is to be able to send children from around the world to school, with hope to reach their full potential. Obtaining my Masters through this program is the next step in obtaining that dream.

I've already started doing a little research, and here's what I've come up with so far.  It seems that globally, education is one of the most powerful instruments for reducing poverty and inequality, and it lays a foundation for sustained economic growth.

  

• In developing, low-income countries, every additional year of education can increase a person’s future income by an average of 10%.¹
  
  

• Children who are born to educated mothers are less likely to be stunted or malnourished. Each additional year of maternal education also reduces the child mortality rate by 2%.²

• Another estimated 57 million children of primary school age and another 69 million children of lower secondary school age were still out of school.³  
  
  

When I see numbers like these, I get jealous for these children.  It's the essence of Normal to Destiny - to make a difference, to reach out to all that we can.  I continually want to pursue my destiny of impacting the world by impacting the next generation, and then seeing those I impact turning around to impact their peers.  And on and on it goes, like the ripple effects of a rain drop in a body of water.

I am looking forward to the challenges of what this Masters Program in higher education will offer me, and the growth that will be the outcome! Look forward to updates as I go, as I continue pursuing my dreams of impacting the world by impacting those in front of me. I can't wait to see how this degree will open doors of impact and train me for the next leg of this journey! 

____________________________________

1, 2: DoSomething.org; https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-education-around-world

3:     UNESCO.org;      http://www.uis.unesco.org/Education/Pages/out-of-school-children.aspx

Blog Writer:  Travis Arment, Founder of Normal to Destiny LLC

Determination to Be Different

Determination

→ a quality that makes you continue trying or achieve something that is difficult*

Dedication 

→ a feeling of very strong support for or loyalty to someone or something*

*Meriam-Webster Dictionary

The room was stuffy on that warm Saturday afternoon. This was the third time she would be reading this same story, but to a different audience. For this was her station during the girl scout all day event – story time. But not just a story to entertain; no, this story had purpose and a message. Those girls needed to know that they were special and had gifts and talents with which to change the world.

“The duck said to her friend, 'I'm not strange, I'm di-ffer-ent.” She quoted the line, almost from memory, in a funny little voice. The girls all laughed. And perhaps they tucked away that story about a little yellow duck choosing to be different and not afraid of the world calling her strange; but not one little brownie girl scout, no, not her. She took that message to heart. 

See, that little scout was me, and that determined and dedicated leader was my Mother.

My Mom and me in 1979

That determination and dedication to make the world a better place, starting with the world she created for her two own daughters, are two of the things I treasure most about my mother. My mother went to great lengths to make sure my sister and I had a safe and healthy childhood, despite many setbacks. As a single parent living on a shoestring budget, she always seemed to create a sense of normalcy for us; we just didn't know that we were poor, nor did we feel the stigma that divorce can sometimes carry on children. We never knew any different because of my Mom's determination and dedication to give us what was necessary in life, no matter how the odds seemed stacked against her.

Me & My Sister, 1984

Here are just a few of the many things that made our little family seem strange to some people, but just different to me. While the rest of the kids in my class would write about their amazing summer vacation trip during that first week back at school each year, I would write about our family camping trip that lasted all summer long. We went hiking at the local nature center, while most kids went to the movies. We made colored fire and cardboard box ovens to earn girl scout badges, while most of the kids my age did whatever they did, because I didn't notice what they were doing. I was babysitting and teaching roller skate lessons while most of the girls my age were becoming boy-crazy. I was hanging out at church while the rest of my teenage friends hung out at the mall. I was just like that little yellow duck in my mother's simple story...I was di-ffer-rent...and I didn't notice much, because of my Mother.

Stitched with love by Mom

As I got older though, I did begin to notice the differences between my life and those of my peers. Some of the difference I didn't care about and others I did. But my Mom did a fantastic job of parenting this first born, headstrong, teenage daughter. See, I inherited her deep determination and dedication, and my fight was usually over wanting more freedom than I could handle. I love my Mom deeply for not giving up on me when I became willfully disobedient and a little too determined for my own good. But her determination to turn out a responsible young lady won over my determination to think I knew everything, every time. 

For this alone, I think my Mom deserves a medal!

Family Vacation 2012

The older I get, the more and more I realize the sacrifices my Mom made to put food on the table, clothes on our back, and an education in our minds. The sleepless nights, the many jobs, the lack of a social life, the dishes, the laundry, the nights we were terrible and threw tantrums when she put us to bed at 8PM at night 'but the sun was still out' – because she needed that time alone to figure out how to pay the bills, or take a shower in peace.

I am still determined. I am still different. And I owe my uniqueness to my Mother. She is my hero, and I love her more each day. Her strength amazes me, and just recently watching her take care of my grandmother (her mother) during her last days on earth stirred within me a deeper level of compassion than I had ever known. My Mom is fiercely brave, wonderfully dedicated, and passionately determined. And I may be biased, but she did an outstanding job of raising two beautifully intelligent, responsible women, who are also determined and dedicated to making a difference in this world, one little duck at a time. 

Present from Mom 2013

Momma, I love you lots! Forever yours, no matter where on this earth I may travel.  You taught me well, even when I didn't want to listen.  And I am forever grateful.  This world will never be the same, because of how you raised me.  You did 'real good'!

Guest Blog Writer: Amber John

Firm, Patient, Generous and Fierce

I am sitting and reflecting on what mothers mean to me. The first thing that pops into my mind is that a mother is love. What mothers endure and experience in the pregnancy stage, then caring for a child, is something that is layered and formed by a bond that nothing else can take its place. Mothers are the life source and nurturers in their children's lives. In many cases, they are recipients of a sixth sense, where they seem to grow extra eyes, a nose better than a dog, and a discernment that trembles the darkness when it comes against their baby! 

One of the most important things that I have learned through observation is that a mother's love is fluid and able to adjust as needed. What I mean by this is that I have seen my mom operate in these areas of love: being firm, patient, generous, and at times, fierce. My mother, Brenda Arment, has been the example for me of love's fluidity and adjustability.

                                                     1. Firm Love

Growing up around a strong-willed woman is not for the faint of heart! My mom was determined to instill in all her kids at a very young age to show respect and to honor others, and to help those we see in need. We were to stay humble (something I took too literally, and had to have someone get in my face once, telling me that it’s okay to receive a compliment), and we were not to disrespect our last name. I did occasionally step out of line, and when she would catch wind of it, Mom was quick to handle the situation, shaking her finger and giving me ‘the look’ - which I believe she instructed the military drill instructors how to do – to which you automatically snapped to attention whenever you got it! This type of love is what set up boundaries and guard rails for me, and looking back, were so important to what she was instilling in me. It taught me the difference between right and wrong, and it was all out of love because she was looking out for my best interest, and setting important values and morals within me.

                                                     2. Patient Love

A few things come to mind when I think about my mom’s display of being patient: she knew that us kids were going to make mistakes and she was always there to give a hug or offer advice when we needed it; many times we were the recipient of her opinion (remember she’s a strong-willed woman). When I joined the Navy in 2004, I didn’t tell anybody I was doing it until after I had signed the documents. My mother would not talk to me for a month afterward because she was handling the news in her own way. I learned how she coped with things that were out of her control, and she showed me that it’s okay to take time away to deal with things quietly. She cared deeply for my safety, and the unknown that I would be entering unsettled her greatly; but she loved me enough to let me make those big life decisions. She came beside me to be my number one fan and supporter during that time. I now have so many Navy artifacts, books, pictures, picture frames, etc. because she wanted to show me how much she was proud of me and loved me.

                                                     3. Generous Love

While I was growing up, my mom became a favorite for her support in all our activities and sports, but also in her cooking on the weekends! I would have friends come out just for the food! Mom and Dad would welcome all of them, cooking enough food so that nobody left hungry...and if you did, it was your own fault. 

Even now, as I am an adult, she has extended to me so much love and generosity. When I came home from the Navy I was a wrecking ball, destroying everything in my path (mostly internally) and my mom didn’t know what to do, except just love me and be there for me. It was all I really needed at the time, and without her knowing it, she helped pull me out of my self-destructive behaviors. 

Fast forwarding to the future, nothing has changed in the area of my mom's love and generosity. Being a missionary now and needing to come back from Belize due to illness, she took care of me, feeding me and nursing me back to health! She allowed me to drive her vehicle to and from doctors' appointments, and got me clothes when I didn’t have any. She has been a huge cheerleader and encourager for Normal to Destiny LLC, and has recently become a sales consultant because she believes in the mission of my business!

Not long ago I learned that when we were younger, my parents would sometimes go without food so that we would be able to eat when we wouldn’t have enough to go around. We qualified for government help, but they refused to take it, instead working two jobs most of the time to provide for our needs. I just thought we were the richest family on the block!

I have always been a watcher and observer. I watched mom volunteer me for all sorts of things: helping people move, cutting grass, volunteering for the needy, picking weeds...and the list goes on! What these things taught me was to always be generous with what we are given and to meet a need of someone whenever you are able.These traits, which were instilled into me when I was young, have become the backbone of the business I am running today - Impact the world by impacting the one.

                                                    4. Fierce Love

I have always been a daydreamer, staring out of windows and getting lost in my own imagination - deep thinking about so many things and drawing up even more questions. This hasn’t always been to my advantage.  While growing up, I have had a couple teachers who didn’t quite understand me because I was different than the rest of the kids. I had teachers label me as ‘dumb,’ ‘never going to make it,’ ‘slow,’ and ‘a dreamer.’ It wasn’t that my grades were bad, because they weren’t. It was because I just have always thought differently and outside of the norm. This is where I have seen my mom’s fierce love for me in action. When these teachers would make these comments about me, I saw my mom fight for me and keep encouraging me to be different because it would benefit me one day. 

My mother was prophesying over me without even knowing she was doing it. She called me ‘the rock,’ and said that ‘I would make something of my life”.  She also told the world "to keep an eye on me because even though I was in a shadow of my older brother and quiet, I had a lot to say”. What I have done and what I continue to do with my life is a fulfillment of those words.  My mom has been an illustration of God’s love for us, which is so fierce that no darkness can prevail or touch it. She has been an example of the love that Jesus has for me, and I can only receive it and say ‘thank you’.

My family likes to joke a lot about my being open with the fact that I’m a “momma’s boy.” For me, this was wisdom and my best weapon growing up; get close with mom and I have it made! Truth is, I simply love her unconditionally. I know that a strong relationship with her has always been important to me, because she was the one who gave birth to me, and there’s just a bond there that is God-given. 

Firm, patient, generous and fierce. Each of these qualities is reflected in the love I receive and the love I give. Thank you Mom for showing me a strong work ethic, instilling deep morals, values and respect, and how to honor others powerfully. Thank you for the tireless days/nights growing up so that we were well taken care of. Thank you for always being there for me, and being a constant in my life. I love you!

~Travis

Guest Blog Writer: Travis Arment

A Mother's Story

by Avril Arthurs, Belize 

I have always dreamt about being a mother. I can recall that when I as a child, my older sister would often say that she did not want kids, and my response would be: “Have them and give them to me!” Just the thought of life and children brought joy to my life. I knew that due to our economic standards here in Belize, it would be difficult for me to have the number of children my heart desired, so I decided to join the teaching profession. My saying was often, “If I can’t have them, then I can teach them.” It is not an easy profession, but it is one that I enjoy doing on a daily basis.

One year after joining the teaching profession, I was being visited by a guy, whom I found very attractive. I prayed for God’s will to be done, to bring us together. Two year later, on March 26, 2005, we exchanged our vows in front of our parents and everyone else. We did not have much, but for me, love was all we needed. 

I knew that one day I wanted to be a mother, but my song would always be that I would wait until five years after marriage. Well, it was a little after five months when I found out that I was pregnant. On December 23, 2005, I found out that I was six weeks pregnant. I felt overjoyed to know that I was going to bring an innocent being into this world that I can call my own to love and cherish. Every day I would caress my stomach, even though it was not showing. I started wearing maternity clothes because I was so excited. What was weird was that even though no tummy was showing as yet, but I knew that he was there.

Everyone was so excited. This was going to be my parents' first grand baby, as well my in-law’s first. (My husband was an only child.) I was spoiled, which, to be honest, was my favorite part. I got anything I wanted just because I was pregnant. 

My mom had all girls, with the exception of my adopted brother, so my sisters all wanted a nephew. They wanted more males in the family. Every time people would tell them that it was a girl, they would get upset. For me it did not matter -  I just wanted a healthy baby. There were times indeed, when I was uncertain and would say I want a girl or I want a boy, but in the end it did not matter.

My baby was a very active baby throughout my pregnancy, so the day I did not feel him moving, I knew that the time had come to deliver. I was so excited! I went to my mom that morning and I told her that I was in labor. My mom did not believe me, so she took me to a friend who was a nurse. When the nurse checked me, she said that I was already at three centimeters and that they must take me to the hospital right then. I was so excited that upon arrival at the hospital at 5 pm, I was grinning. This was strange to the nurses; one even asked what was wrong with me! When they told her that I was in labor, she argued that I was not. The thought of having a baby helped me to overlook the pain. At 7:35 pm, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

The start of motherhood was here! I couldn’t wait for him to cry. I watched in the maternity ward as the other babies cried and their mothers would breast feed them, but my baby just slept. I stared at him all night, and around 3 a.m. I saw him move his finger. So I grabbed him and tried to feed him. I felt sorry after that, because whenever he started to cry I would need to feed him, and I was not given much of a break to sleep.

Being a first time mother, everything got me excited. Once I thought I heard him cough and I started to cry, telling my husband to take us to the hospital. He took me to my mom who anxiously asked what the problem was. I told her that the baby coughed. She told me that nothing was wrong with my baby, but so that I would stop crying, she would monitor him. If he coughed, we would take him to the doctor. I learned that day that my baby did not cough; instead, he only gurgled on his spit. Everyone in my family still jokes about this today.

This was my baby, and as every good mother, I only wanted what was best for him. So yes, at times I spent unnecessary money to take him to see doctors, only to find out on many occasions that I had a healthy baby boy. One doctor even told us that our baby had the weight and height of kids older than he was.

My son became my pride and joy. Whenever I had problems in my marriage, I would look at him and thank God, because his presence made me overlook my circumstances. Instead of being sorrowful, I gave thanks for my blessings. Wherever you would see me, my son was there. We would go to church, weddings, graduations, etc. When I was asked to be the female dean at summer camp, everyone knew that I had only one condition - my son must go with me.

We created a bond that was inseparable. So inseparable that people are concern about what would happen to the other one if something happens to either of us.

On September 21, 2012, I was woken by my parents, with the most tragic news any wife had to hear. My husband had died in a car accident. Hearing this horrible news, I was unable to contain myself. I did not expect that at the age of twenty-nine to be a widow with a six year old son. There were so many unanswered questions. Why me? What about my son? How will this affect him? Growing up, I had both my mom and dad, and I had wanted the same for my son. What will I do now? Will I be able to face life daily? But due to the prayers of my family and church family, God gave me the strength to carry on. It is still hard at times, because when I look at my son I see a little of his dad and I wonder what is going through his little mind.

Every day I prayed to God for strength to face the new day. Nothing anyone would say could have taken away the pain I was facing. I would just glance on my son and start to cry because as a mother, I wanted him to have his father in his life.  For some reason, though, my son would not cry. I was constantly crying, and he would wipe my tears and say, “Mommy please stop crying. I am not crying so you should not cry.” People thought that he did not understand, that he was not registering that he will never see his dad again. But though talking with him, they realized he was fully aware of everything. When asked why he did not cry, he would say that he does not want his mommy to cry. He wanted to be strong for me, to be my little man. People spoke to him and told him that it was ok to cry, but he refused. At this point, I felt like I was the baby and he was my little man. It was through him that I had to work on my emotions, and because of him and God, that I was able to continue my journey though life.

God blessed me with a son, even though it was not planned. When I think about it, if I had waited five years before having my child, my son would have been two when his father died. God had a plan and he knew why he blessed me with my son so early in marriage. My son is a part of the reason I can hold my head high and give God thanks daily for his many blessings, despite the circumstances. He is the reason I’m a mother today, and I would not have it any other way. I love my son, and he shows me daily just how much he loves me in return. 

Mothers

As I’ve looked back over my lifetime, I am truly blessed by the women in my life who’ve chosen to love me, even at my most unlovable. This journey to adulthood was tumultuous at best; but these women taught me to love, to forgive, to stand in faith, and to trust a God who always has my best interest in mind. This is my thank-you letter!

I’d like to begin with a thank-you to my grandma. She was the strong, silent type, who caught everything, and had a way of seeing you as you truly were - raw and honest. It was so easy to love myself because she loved me so unashamedly. She taught me that family is built around sharing together, both in the good times and bad. And that truly strong women not only do not give up, but they also forgive, even when an apology is not forth coming. She also showed me the best way is to  make peace with people in my heart, at all costs. My grandma exuded love always! No matter who I brought home, her comfort and strength broke through the toughest hearts.

There are many other women I want to thank. My mother taught me that true love has no strings or expectations. It stands, protects, forgives, and hopes always, as in First Corinthians 13. Our family friend, Cindy (my second mom), taught me of a transparency and vulnerability that brings courage. She taught me hospitality and the joy of sharing life - meeting people where they are. Women like my best friend’s mom and grandma, Johanna and Evelyn, taught me to believe myself. They were always challenging me to be a woman of character and integrity, even if I was the only one standing. This strength of conviction, this firm foundation of family relationships, and their charity to others have so shaped my heart!

My host mom, Ann, was the example of the type of mother and wife I want to be. She was the one who changed my mind on the idea of getting married. Ann taught me that honor, submission, and strength in a marriage are based on deep friendship. She was able to make homeschooling, running a household, and all of her charitable activities seem so easy. She also taught me not to undermine my husband; yelling didn’t make the point in an argument, and it is perfectly normal to make date night a necessity. She was gentle, kind, creative and passionate, serving herself to her family and community gracefully. It takes a special woman to open her home to a complete stranger, and live that vulnerably with eyes on every part of your family life.

These beautiful women are gems in my life! They are gifts from heaven who shaped me, challenged my thinking, and loved me completely! I am blessed by their lives intertwining with mine, all in the perfect timing of the LORD! They are so important to my journey out of Normal to Destiny, and I am forever grateful! I hope for many happy Mother’s Days to you all.

Johanna and Evelyn                  Cindy                                Cindy                          Ann with her daughter

Guest Blog Writer: Zona Garrett, NtoD Sales Consultant